The Fabulous Girls' Guide to Eating Local

by Pim of Chez Pim

If you're a regular reader on the food blog circuit, I'm sure you've heard an earful about this month's Eating Local campaign.  I know just what you think, who needs the crunchy granola types telling us how to be fabulous?

No worries, fabulous girls of the world, Chez Pim, the poster child of shallowfabulousness, is coming to the rescue.  No, I'm not going to tell you to eat local to save the environment, support local farmers and artisans, or reduce our dependant on oil.  None of that boring altruistic stuff I tell you. 

Yes, yes, of course, eating locally grown or produced foods will do all of that good stuff, but it's hardly helping us, is it?  No, girls, I'm telling you to do this out of straight, unadulterated self-interest.  Trust me on this.  It's going to be so, well, fabulous.

First of all, when was the last time you were at a farmers market?  If you haven't been in a while, I suggest you get up next Saturday morning, –or whichever morning your local market opens- throw some clothes on, and off you go to market.  Of course, by 'throwing some clothes on' I meant spending two hours arranging your last strain of hair to get that properly thrown-together-fabulous weekend look.  But you knew that already. 

Don't forget your cute basket and sun hat.  I trust you have those, right?  If not, well dahlings, here's another reason to go shopping.  Didn't I tell you this was going to be fabulous?

Ok, now that you are at the market.  I want you to go from stall to stall checking out the merchandise.  No, not the produce!  Who needs to pay attention to the produce?  They're all good, having just been picked and at the height of ripeness and all that good stuff, unlike the cardboard cut-outs pretending to be fruit at your normal stores.  Just grab whatever you need for the week so you could spend your time checking out the better stuff.

The farmers.

The farmers, girls. 

Have you looked closely at them?  Forget your pale, bespectacled –albeit ic! Berlined- office boys.  I'm talking tan, buff, hunky, handsome farmers.  I don't know about your market but mine is a smörgåsbord of goodies.  Like that Joe of Dirty Girl, who can now be seen –bare chested on a beach in Baja- on a Pacifico billboard in SoMa, or that dimpled cuteness Todd of the fabled Frog Hollow Farm, think the Price William of farm families.  You don't see guys like these bagging groceries at your local Safeway, do you?

Alright, if hot farmers don't do it for you, just check out the boys all around.  And I'm not talking the hemp-wearing, granola-eating hippies.  That image is just so...dated.  Might I remind you that George Clooney now drives a Tango?  If he lived in San Francisco he'd surely be shopping at the Ferry Plaza.  Now that's a type. 

What's sexier than feeling up a tomato next to a cute guy in Dirty Girl stall?  That disheveled Saturday morning head of hair is just screaming for your fingers to run through!  Ok, besides eating deep fried asparagus together?  Now if those are not bonding opportunities then I don’t know what is.

Might I also point out that eating local is a tad more expensive that your cut-price produce at Cash and Carry?  What does that mean?  Oh come now, no need feigning innocence with me.  Cute, responsible guys with –ahem- disposable income, anyone?

And last, but definitely not least, it's all about that self-righteous glow, girls. Bliss wish they could bottle that stuff.

What are you waiting for now? 
Get thee to the farmers market, fabulous girls!

Pim revels in her frivolity on her mostly-about-food blog Chez Pim.

Comments

[Tea]

Hilarious!

I must admit that the main reason I used to tag along with my mom to the Marin farmers' market when I was in high school was the super cute blond guy who worked at the bakery stand. I didn't much care about organics or local farms back then, but I knew a cute guy when I saw one.

[Barbara]

LOL!

I gotta go shopping at the market where Pim shops! We've only got one cute farmer guy here in Athens, and the rest--well, um, not so much. Unless you are into Quakers....uh, no.

And then there is that guy who plays the accordion whom I just want to slap so he will stop making that noise.

Though there are a couple of cute granola-chewers who sell there, but they aren't buff or anything.

I gotta go to California. For the, you know, scenery. ;-)

(All of that said--the produce at our market is pretty darned great.)

[Cate O'Malley]

You are too funny ... I've been dying for my farmer's market to open, and this just makes it worse!

[shuna fish lydon]

"What's sexier than feeling up a tomato with a cute guy next to you in Dirty Girl stall?"

Feeling up an apricot next to a handsome women.

[mae]

You are so funny! As it happens, there's a 'Genuine Jersey Market' tomorrow in St Catherines and have already previously arranged to go and explore - with my Fiance! I'll try my best to take shots of erm.. hunky farmers... [if there's any!] without my Fiance suspecting the intent other than wanting to participate in this months challenge.

[Tana]

So everyone but you who is doing the Eat Local Challenge is a "crunchy granola type"? All seven hundred and something of us from coast to coast? Wow, that's a lot of granola.

[Ken H]

Very nicely done...

[Lili]

Love your blog!
Where can I find the red basket in the top photo?

[Mochene]

Cute article. I must say though, that there was a cute guy in our produce department of one of the stores I go to. He helped me when a watermelon fell from the display. But I digress. I can't wait for my farmers market to open in June. And don't worry, I know all about those farm guys! I had one feed me fresh peas out of his hand. Sigh. I do need a new basket and a hat. And big sunglasses to hide my slightly hungover eyes from Friday nights.

[diva]

Come on over to Florence and check out my market!
http://divinacucina.blogspot.com/2006/05/shop-local-eye-candy.html

[Dolores Ferrero]

OMG, how fa-aaAAaa-bulously funny. And to think I've been wasting my time checking out fresh... well... produce. :)

[genevelyn steele]

Hey Pimm, an appealing story, but imagine dueling banjos at a Melissa Etheridge concert--that's the scene at my local farmer's market.

[keiko]

Love this post very much, Pim :)

[tejal]

Hi Pim, a very funny post indeed. Also, for fabulous women who aren't single, I've always found it a pretty sexy date.

[Kate Hill]

My local (Saturday Morning at Nerac in Southwest France) is a French guy's guide to flirting techniques: cheesemonger to charcutier know that the art is in the sell and in typical Gascon fashion that includes a taste or two as well as two kisses on each cheek! Love my Long Village.

[lisa the waitress]

Tana, I always try to be nice, but please try to have a sense of humor.

I'm a totally crunchy granola-eater, but I also bought a fabulous new green market bag to kick off the season.

I can still laugh at myself. I do it every day. Usually more than once.

[Kimberly]

Wonderful post, Pim!

My friend and I were just this morning discussing the charms of a new, very young farmer at the Ballard farmers market in Seattle. He's a very sweet addition to an already attractive scene. However, my favorite charmer is Gene the fisherman, who sells gorgeous local salmon and halibut, and is always happy to flirt while icing your fish.

[Sarah (Mrs. Irani)]

I totally picked up men at the Farmer's Market (prior to meeting my hubby, of course.) One in particular was checking me out and gave me a couple of extra red peppers- how is that for flirting! We went on a couple of dates even.

Now I am married, but my husband and I love going to the market on Saturday mornings. I always hold up the cantaloupes and ask him what he thinks of my melons. *oh BEHAVE*