by Pim of Chez Pim
If you're a regular reader on the food blog circuit, I'm sure you've heard an earful about this month's Eating Local campaign. I know just what you think, who needs the crunchy granola types telling us how to be fabulous?
No worries, fabulous girls of the world, Chez Pim, the poster child of
shallowfabulousness, is coming to the rescue. No, I'm not going
to tell you to eat local to save the environment, support local farmers
and artisans, or reduce our dependant on oil. None of that boring
altruistic stuff I tell you.
Yes, yes, of course, eating locally grown or produced foods will do all of that good stuff, but it's hardly helping us, is it? No, girls, I'm telling you to do this out of straight, unadulterated self-interest. Trust me on this. It's going to be so, well, fabulous.
First of all, when was the last time you were at a farmers market? If you haven't been in a while, I suggest you get up next Saturday morning, –or whichever morning your local market opens- throw some clothes on, and off you go to market. Of course, by 'throwing some clothes on' I meant spending two hours arranging your last strain of hair to get that properly thrown-together-fabulous weekend look. But you knew that already.
Don't forget your cute basket and sun hat. I trust you have those, right? If not, well dahlings, here's another reason to go shopping. Didn't I tell you this was going to be fabulous?
Ok, now that you are at the market. I want you to go from stall to stall checking out the merchandise. No, not the produce! Who needs to pay attention to the produce? They're all good, having just been picked and at the height of ripeness and all that good stuff, unlike the cardboard cut-outs pretending to be fruit at your normal stores. Just grab whatever you need for the week so you could spend your time checking out the better stuff.
The farmers, girls.
Have you looked closely at them? Forget your pale, bespectacled –albeit ic! Berlined- office boys. I'm talking tan, buff, hunky, handsome farmers. I don't know about your market but mine is a smörgåsbord of goodies. Like that Joe of Dirty Girl, who can now be seen –bare chested on a beach in Baja- on a Pacifico billboard in SoMa, or that dimpled cuteness Todd of the fabled Frog Hollow Farm, think the Price William of farm families. You don't see guys like these bagging groceries at your local Safeway, do you?
Alright, if hot farmers don't do it for you, just check out the boys all around. And I'm not talking the hemp-wearing, granola-eating hippies. That image is just so...dated. Might I remind you that George Clooney now drives a Tango? If he lived in San Francisco he'd surely be shopping at the Ferry Plaza. Now that's a type.
What's sexier than feeling up a tomato next to a cute guy in Dirty Girl stall? That disheveled Saturday morning head of hair is just screaming for your fingers to run through! Ok, besides eating deep fried asparagus together? Now if those are not bonding opportunities then I don’t know what is.
Might I also point out that eating local is a tad more expensive that your cut-price produce at Cash and Carry? What does that mean? Oh come now, no need feigning innocence with me. Cute, responsible guys with –ahem- disposable income, anyone?
And last, but definitely not least, it's all about that self-righteous glow, girls. Bliss wish they could bottle that stuff.
What are you waiting for now?
Get thee to the farmers market, fabulous girls!
Pim revels in her frivolity on her mostly-about-food blog Chez Pim.